Wedding - Konrei

Japanese: 婚礼 - こんれい

A ceremony to establish a marriage. A ceremony to legally create a marital relationship and begin legal acts. Traditionally, weddings have been religious ceremonies, but in modern times in most countries around the world, marriage is simply a civil contract, but the religious aspects remain strong.

[Asako Ishikawa]

history

In Japan, records from before the Nara period also state that men would give gifts to the women they were interested in, called "tsumadoi no mono," and that at the time of marriage, women would entertain the groom with lots of food and drink, called "momotori no tsukueshiro no mono." However, the origins of a wedding ceremony began in the Heian period, probably with something called "mikayo no mochi." In those days, marriages generally began as love between two people, and in most cases, a man would visit the woman's house every night or stay overnight, thus establishing a marital relationship. The woman's parents were the first to approve the marriage, and the wedding ceremony was held at the woman's house. This gradually became a formality, and the first night together was called "niimakura," and the wife would secretly visit for three days to hold a ceremony in which the husband would approve the husband. Since this was the first time the groom was shown publicly to the bride's parents, this ceremony was called "roken" or "tokoroarashi." The highlight of this ceremony was the eating of rice cakes by the newly married couple, which was called "Mika no mochi" or "Mikayo no mochi." In other words, weddings in the Heian period were marriages in which the groom took the bride's body.

It is interesting to note that the "Mikayo no Mochi Ceremony" was also held at the wedding of Crown Prince Naruhito and Crown Princess Masako on June 9, 1993. It is said that four silver plates were offered with small rice cakes placed on them, one for each year of the person's life, and it is safe to think of these as becoming something akin to decorations.

The origins of today's bridal marriages, where marriage is concluded by the bride entering the groom's home and where the bride often lives with the groom's family, date back to the Kamakura period. This was born with the birth of the samurai class and became established as the patriarchal family system matured. As feudal social structures were established, even ceremonial schools of marriage, such as the Ogasawara and Ise schools, were born. The bridal marriages of samurai society eventually spread to other class societies, and have continued to the present day. However, with the decline of the patriarchal family system, bridal marriages have changed significantly in the present day. There is a trend for people to live independently after getting married, neither with the groom's nor the bride's family. This can be said to be common sense now. We are already in the period of extinction of bridal marriages.

Unlike Western countries, Japanese weddings are characterized by not being very religiously-linked. Regardless of the religion or beliefs of the people involved, the wedding ceremony is merely formal, be it Shinto, Buddhist or Christian, perhaps a legacy of the idea that it has long been considered a religious ceremony presided over by God in many regions. Nowadays, more emphasis is placed on the reception that follows the wedding ceremony than on the actual ceremony itself. There is a strong tendency to make them flashy, and some wedding halls, especially in urban areas, come up with unusual and outlandish ideas and turn them into "products."

Of course, there are many cases where the wedding ceremony and reception are held at the groom's family home, but the overwhelming majority of people use hotels, halls, shrines, temples, or specialized wedding halls that have wedding halls and banquet halls. In this case, both families gather at the wedding hall for the ceremony, which is why the term "encounter wedding" was born.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Date selection

In the West, it is customary to decide the wedding date by horoscope, while in China, India and Islamic countries, auspicious days are decided by a unique fortune-telling method. In Japan, too, people have long valued luck, and the auspicious days of the calendar are also important. The wedding date is chosen on an auspicious day of the zodiac (a day that is considered auspicious no matter what you do in Onmyodo), and folk beliefs such as the fact that a day of great fortune in the six seasons is considered auspicious, that a day of bad luck is avoided, and that women born in the year of the horse are disliked remain deeply rooted. However, gradually, a trend is emerging to decide the wedding date without being bound by such superstitions. When deciding the wedding date, it is best to avoid the bride's menstrual period, and to take into consideration practical factors such as the groom's workplace, the convenience of the matchmaker and relatives.

The types of wedding ceremonies currently practiced in Japan include Shinto, Buddhist, Christian, and civil (new style) ceremonies.

[Asako Ishikawa]

wedding

Shinto wedding ceremony

It is a ceremony in which sacred sake (miki) and seafood and mountain produce are offered before the gods on the altar, and the couple exchange cups of sake in front of them to solidify their union. This style has existed since ancient times, but it is said to have become popular since the wedding ceremony of the then Crown Prince (Emperor Taisho) in 1900 (Meiji 33). At the time, a branch of the spirit of Ise Shrine was enshrined at Hibiya Daijingu Shrine (now Tokyo Daijingu Shrine) in Tokyo, but there was a strong sense of worship for historic shrines such as Ise Shrine, Meiji Shrine, and Izumo Taisha Shrine, so the method of dividing the spirit was used. In this way, as long as a branch of the spirit is received and an altar is built, Shinto weddings can be held at any wedding hall, and it is not surprising that Shinto weddings are so popular that they account for more than 70% of current weddings.

The ceremony procedure differs slightly depending on each shrine or the amount of the offering (wedding ceremony fee), but most wedding venues follow the following format. On the day, the bride and groom, the matchmaker and his wife, and the guests gather at the time designated by the venue. Both families enter separate waiting rooms and are explained the procedure by an attendant. Eventually, they are ushered into the venue by the attendant, with the groom's side seated on the right side of the altar and the bride's side on the left. The seating order is parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, in order of blood ties. The bride and groom sit in front of the altar and the matchmaker behind them. The chief priest and other Shinto priests enter, and the master of ceremonies announces the start of the wedding ceremony. Everyone stands and undergoes a purification ritual by the chief priest, who then bows to the altar, after which the guests follow suit and take their seats. Gagaku music is played, and the Kensen ceremony (a ceremony to offer food to the altar) is held. Then, a prayer is recited to announce the couple's marriage to the gods, and everyone stands to listen. Next, the bride and groom and the matchmaker couple perform the Seihai ceremony (also called Sanken no Gi, or Sanken no Gi). The chief priest pours sacred sake from the altar and transfers it to a choshi (a sake cup with three cups of sake in each cup). Three stacked cups are placed on each side, and the miko (usually two people) offer it to the groom first. The groom receives the first cup (the smallest cup) in both palms, drinks the sacred sake poured by the miko, and drinks it in three sips. The miko offers the first cup to the bride, who also drinks it in three sips (she can just put her mouth to the cup and pretend to drink). The second cup is passed from the bride to the groom, and the third cup is passed from the groom to the bride, and so on until the ceremony is over.

After this, musicians play music and two to four female dancers perform the Toyosaka Dance as an offering (although this is often omitted). The bride and groom proceed to the altar, bow once and recite the vows. The groom reads the vows out loud, and the bride recites only her name. Once this is finished, the vows are rolled up and placed on the an (a small table in front of the altar where offerings are placed) and bowed once, after which the tamagushi (sacred branch of a branch of a sakaki tree with a cotton cloth or paper streamer attached) is offered. The tamagushi is placed on the an with the base facing the altar, bows twice, claps twice, and bows once before taking the appropriate seats. Nowadays, rings are often exchanged after this. This tamagushi offering is also performed by the matchmaker couple and representatives of both families, but once it is finished and everyone is seated, sacred sake is poured into cups prepared beforehand at the seats of all the family members of both families, who then toast and drink it all, forming a sacred toast for the relatives of both families. The chief priest bows, and when everyone bows in return, he announces that the ceremony has ended and the new couple has been born.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Buddhist wedding ceremony

In Buddhism, there is a philosophy that becoming husband and wife is the result of karma from a previous life, and is the result of guidance from Buddha. For this reason, devout Buddhists hold their wedding ceremony at a temple they have a connection to, such as Bodai Temple. Conversely, some Buddhists invite a monk to their home to hold the ceremony. However, in recent years, some large temples have facilities for wedding ceremonies, so those who wish can hold their wedding ceremony at a temple, regardless of their religious affiliation. Although it varies slightly depending on the sect, the ceremony order is usually as follows. The ceremony takes place in the main hall, where the principal image is enshrined. Incense sticks, candlesticks, incense burners, etc. are placed in front of the Buddhist altar, and behind that is the seat of the reverend (chief priest). Behind the reverend are the bride and groom, next to them are the matchmaker couple, and on both sides are the seats of the relatives of both families.

Once the family, relatives, and guests from both sides have entered the hall and taken their seats, musical performances begin (this may not be the case depending on the sect), and the bride and groom enter the hall, led by the matchmaker. It is common for the groom to sit to the right of the altar, and the bride to the left. The chief priest enters accompanied by an attendant priest, and the master of ceremonies announces the start of the ceremony. First, the chief priest offers incense in front of the altar, reports the marriage of the two people, and then recites a sutra. Next, the chief priest sprinkles purified water over the heads of the couple, which the bride and groom must receive with their hands together in prayer. After this, the attendant priest takes a rosary from in front of the altar and hands it to the chief priest. The chief priest smells it with incense, places it on the hands of the bride and groom in prayer, and the two are then happily united in front of the altar. At this point, if desired, they can exchange rings.

Next, everyone stands, joins their hands, and follows the leader in reciting the "Sankiraimon" (a sutra in which one takes refuge in the Three Treasures of Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha). The leader recites each line, and everyone joins in unison. After this, the newlyweds and both families have a formal ceremony. Next, the bride and groom hold prayer beads in their left hands, pick up incense in their right hands, burn it, bow, recite the vows, write their new names on the marriage register, and press their thumbprints. After this, the leader gives a sermon, and when it is over, the leader leaves the room, marking the end of the ceremony. After this, the attendees are supposed to take turns burning incense.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Christian wedding ceremony

Originally, the rule was that only Christians could have a wedding ceremony in a church. For Christians, marriage is a vow to God and is a union that is made with God's blessing, so those who do not believe in God or are not believers are not eligible. However, nowadays, there are some churches where a wedding ceremony can be held if either the bride or groom is a believer. However, if the hotel or wedding hall has a chapel, even non-believers can hold a wedding ceremony, but even in that case, they must receive an orientation from a priest or pastor about the meaning of marriage.

Weddings between believers are held in the chapel of the church to which the bride and groom belong, but if the couple belong to different churches they may decide together, although in most cases the wedding is held in the groom's church. Depending on the denomination, an engagement ceremony may be held before the ceremony. Once the wedding date has been decided, the church will announce it two weeks in advance. If any believer has an objection to the couple's marriage, they can make that objection to the church by the day of the ceremony, and if there are two or more objections, the church must consult with the church and decide whether or not to hold the wedding.

After the wedding ceremony, the two people are united by God's will. No objections may be raised, and divorce is not permitted. In a Christian ceremony, two witnesses are required, similar to the matchmaker in a Shinto ceremony. The witnesses do not necessarily have to be a married couple. In Japan, due to long-standing custom, it is common for the matchmaker couple to act as witnesses, but if the bride and groom are Christians, it is preferable for the witnesses to be believers as well. Unlike other ceremonies, anyone can attend a Christian ceremony. This is to share the joy with as many people as possible and to receive blessings from as many people as possible. This is also why even passersby are allowed to attend freely.

Although there are some differences between Catholics and Protestants, the order of Christian ceremonies currently held in Japan is as follows. Flowers are placed on the altar of the ceremony hall, and a white cloth is laid down in the central aisle. This is called the aisle, and no one is permitted to walk on it before the ceremony except the bride and groom, witnesses, and attendants. In the ceremony hall, the groom's side is on the right as you face the altar, and the bride's side is on the left. Family, relatives, and guests of honor line up in the front row, and the rest can arrive in order. First, the groom enters through the priest's (pastor's) entrance with his witnesses, and stands on the right side of the altar to wait for the bride to enter. The organ continues to play during this time, but then it changes to the "Wedding Chorus" from Wagner's opera Lohengrin, and the bride, accompanied by her father, proceeds up the aisle to the altar. The matchmaker's wife may enter on behalf of the father, or the groom may be preceded by a best man (a friend of the groom) and the bride by a bridesmaid (an unmarried friend of the bride).

A ring boy (a boy carrying a ring) and a flower girl (a girl carrying a basket full of small flowers) may also enter in front of the bridesmaids. If the bride's dress is long and has a trailing train or veil, one or two children will accompany her. The bride is led to the altar and lines up on the groom's left, with the best man, bridesmaids, and witnesses standing behind her. At this time, the bride's father returns to his seat, and everyone stands to sing a hymn. The priest then reads a passage from the Bible about marriage, prays to God, and gives a speech.

The exchange of vows and rings is the highlight of the wedding ceremony. The priest calls the bride and groom to the front of the altar and asks all attendees to stand up to witness the marriage. He addresses the groom by name and asks the bride to make the same vow, saying, "Do you swear to take so-and-so as your wife and to remain chaste for the rest of your lives?" The wedding rings are then exchanged. The bride removes her gloves and hands them to the attendant. The priest holds the bride and groom's hands, places his own on theirs, prays to God, and declares to the attendees that the two have been united by God's will. At this point, a hymn is sung again by the attendees, and the bride puts on her gloves and holds her bouquet.

Depending on the church, the bride and groom sign the vows here in this order: bride and groom, witnesses, and priest. The priest has everyone stand up and gives a blessing to the bride and groom and all the guests. The "Wedding March" from Mendelssohn's A Midsummer Night's Dream is played, and as everyone stands to see them off, the bride and groom link arms (groom's right, bride's left) and exit to the music, followed by the witnesses, attendants, parents, and relatives. Sometimes a flower girl walks in front of the bride and groom, scattering flowers. After this, they often line up in front of the church and take a commemorative photograph.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Public wedding

This refers to a wedding ceremony in which the guests act as witnesses, and is held regardless of religion. Sometimes the venue is used for the actual wedding ceremony, and sometimes the reception hall is used as well, with the wedding ceremony being held there as well. The ceremony order is roughly as follows: As the guests enter the venue, it begins with a greeting from the master of ceremonies. The groom enters, followed by the bride (sometimes holding candles). The master of ceremonies announces that the wedding will take place, with the guests in attendance as witnesses, and at this point the atmosphere in the venue takes on a solemn tone.

The bride and groom sit down, recite their vows, and exchange rings, one for each of the bride and groom's ring fingers. The two then sign and stamp the marriage registration, and the witness (matchmaker) follows suit and shows it to all the guests. The master of ceremonies announces that the marriage ceremony has now been successfully completed, and after this a toast is made and the banquet begins.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Other Weddings

[1] Home weddings This is the most traditional ceremony that has been held in Japan for a long time. Before there were wedding halls and reception halls like today, most weddings were held at home. Because there are not many large rooms or manpower, this style is not held much in cities, but it still remains in rural areas. Also, there is a trend to make weddings more extravagant every year, which will surely accelerate the decline of this style.

[2] Weddings for just the two of you In most cases, these are held on honeymoon as well. These are weddings held in churches in Hawaii or Guam, or in Karuizawa or Hokkaido in Japan. These are popular among young people who like freedom, but even in these cases, there is an obligation for witnesses to be present, and consent letters from parents are still required.

[3] Musical weddings: The format is the same as for civil weddings, but an orchestra, quartet, harp trio, etc. plays continuously throughout the ceremony.

There are also unusual weddings, such as ceremonies held on buses, boats, planes, or other vehicles, outdoor weddings, poolside weddings, and other venues that are chosen at random, but in any case, a wedding is not a show. It is important to be careful not to forget the basic solemnity.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Customs and Manners

Family introduction

After the wedding ceremony, the time before the reception is used to introduce the relatives of both families. In the past, a matchmaker who knew both families well would introduce the relatives of both families, but recently, as there are many "hired matchmakers," representatives of both families (overwhelmingly the fathers) introduce their respective relatives. After this, they often take group photos with the relatives and photos of the bride and groom.

[Asako Ishikawa]

reception

In addition to the relatives who attended the wedding, guests also attend. A reception desk is set up at the entrance to the waiting room, and a guest book is prepared. All guests are asked to sign it, and then they are given place cards and guided to the waiting room. In the waiting room, aperitifs are served to entertain them. As the time for the banquet approaches, the bride and groom are seated in the center at the entrance to the reception hall, flanked on either side by the matchmaker and his wife, and the parents of both families are lined up on the outside, and they enter while receiving greetings from the guests entering the venue. Once the guests have taken their seats according to the seating chart, the bride and groom enter accompanied by the matchmaker. It is common for a wedding march to be played at this time, but Nagamochiuta (long-necked song) and Kiyariuta (wooden song) are also used. Any kind of music is fine.

The reception can be either a seated or stand-up style, and the food available includes Japanese, Western, and Chinese cuisine.

The Western-style wedding reception generally proceeds as follows: Once the bride and groom are seated, the master of ceremonies gives an opening speech, followed by the matchmaker announcing that the ceremony has just concluded without incident and introducing the couple and both families. Next, the guest of honour gives a speech, and the bride and groom put the knife into the wedding cake. The moment the knife is put into the cake is the signal for the champagne cork to be popped, making a lively popping sound. The chief guest leads the champagne toast. In a normal Western dinner, this toast is made before the dessert course, but in the case of a wedding reception, it is made before the food is served, in order to receive the guest's congratulatory speeches. Everyone stands up, raises their glasses, and toasts the bride and groom with heartfelt congratulations. The food is soon served and the banquet begins, but for a while the guests chat with each other. During this time, the bride leaves the room to "change her attire." Nowadays, grooms often change their clothes as well, but they refrain from giving congratulatory speeches while the main bride is absent.

When the bride appears at the venue led by the matchmaker's wife, the guests greet her with applause, and once they are seated, they are asked to give their congratulations again. The congratulatory telegrams are displayed after the dessert course. The reception concludes with a speech of thanks to everyone in attendance. This is done by the groom's father, representing the bride and groom and both families. It is important not to forget to thank the matchmaker for his efforts. While the master of ceremonies is giving his closing speech, the bride and groom, the matchmaker, and their parents stand up and line up at the exit of the venue, seeing off the departing guests with gratitude.

It's almost the same when it comes to Chinese style.

Traditionally, a Japanese-style wedding is held in a Japanese-style room, but recently, it is common for Japanese cuisine to be served in hotels and ordinary wedding halls. In such cases, the seating is simply changed to chairs, and the proceedings are not very different from Western or Chinese-style weddings. When held in a Japanese-style room, the bride and groom sit in seiza position where the tokonoma is located. Formally, honzen cuisine should be served, but in recent years, kaiseki cuisine has become more common. When there is a speech by the matchmaker or a congratulatory speech by the guest of honour in a Japanese-style room, it is considered polite for the bride and groom to remove their cushions to listen. Toastings are made while seated.

Buffet style (standing style) is generally considered to be a casual style. This type of party allows the bride and groom to have friendly conversations with the guests, and allows the relatives of both families to deepen their friendship. There is no need to worry about seating arrangements. There are many advantages, such as flexibility in the number of people and the fact that guests who are a little late or leave early will not be noticed. Perhaps because it can be a wonderful wedding reception depending on the production, it has become more common recently.

The proceedings of the banquet are as follows: after the guests enter, the bride and groom enter with the matchmaker and his wife and sit at the main table. The master of ceremonies announces the start of the banquet, followed by a greeting from the matchmaker, followed by speeches from the guests, the cutting of the wedding cake, and a toast. The main guests only sit at the main table during this time. However, since all the guests are standing up to this point, it is best to keep speeches very short. After the toast, the bride and groom and matchmaker move freely among the guests and chat. The banquet ends with a thank-you speech from the parents, just like in a seated ceremony.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Congratulatory Message

In most cases, congratulatory speeches are requested in advance, so you should carefully organize the content and tone of the speech, and avoid using taboo words (such as "cut," "leave," "separate," "end," and "return"). You should also be careful not to use provocative content.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Wedding gifts

Wedding gifts are given in the form of cash or gifts. The wrapping paper and gift envelope (noshi bag) for the gift should both read "ju" (longevity), and the mizuhiki string should be gold and silver or red and white knotted. When giving a gift, be sure to ask the recipient carefully and be careful not to give the same gift as someone else. Normally, it is considered rude to bring cash or gifts to the ceremony hall on the day of the ceremony, and it is proper to have them delivered to the recipient's home at least one week before.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Gifts

The amount of money to be given to those who help out on the day of the ceremony and to the various staff at the ceremony hall should be decided in consultation between the two families. The envelope should have "ju" written on it, and both families should have the name of the envelope. The mizuhiki should be red and white with a knot. It is better to avoid envelopes that are too large, and prepare a few small envelopes.

[Asako Ishikawa]

gift

It is an item given by the host as a souvenir, originally served with a celebratory meal. In the case of weddings, it is given as a "return gift" to guests for the celebratory gifts, so it is not necessary if the guests are invited to the reception, but recently it seems to be always included with the purpose of sharing the celebration. Most common items are dried bonito flakes, celebratory sweets, handicrafts, tableware, etc. The noshi for these wedding favors is also written with "ju" (longevity).

[Asako Ishikawa]

Travel and more

Honeymoon

This trip is for the bride and groom to truly bond with each other and understand each other well. The purpose of this trip is to learn and discover things that were not clear in your relationship up until that point. It is important to make sure that the itinerary is not too strenuous. It is best to stay at a hotel near the wedding venue on the first day to rest up and depart the next day. When choosing a place to stay, consider things like privacy, few group tourists, and a good surrounding environment. When traveling abroad, one easy way is to use a package tour (set tour) from a reliable travel agency. It is best to keep your belongings as compact as possible. Wear clothes and shoes that you are used to wearing. Don't forget to bring souvenirs for the matchmaker and people who have helped you in particular.

In Europe and the United States, it is customary for friends to see off the honeymoon couple in a lively manner by graffitiing the car they are driving in with words like "Just Married," decorating it with flowers, hanging empty cans from it, and scattering rice and flowers.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Homecoming

On the third or fifth day (on an odd-numbered day) after marriage, a bride and her husband visit their parents' home, which is called "Sato-kairi." One taboo word for this is "Sato-biraki." On this day, the bride would visit her parents' home wearing a new outfit (called "Ochouche") made by the groom's family, but nowadays, in most cases, the bride and groom visit their parents' home after returning from their honeymoon, bringing with them souvenirs. If neither spouse lives with their parents, they will stay one night at the husband's parents' home and one night at the wife's. This is also a good time to pay tribute to those who have helped them.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Marriage Notice

As soon as you return from your honeymoon, mail out your wedding announcements. You should also send them to everyone who attended your wedding reception. Sending postcards with snapshots of your honeymoon will also warm the hearts of those who receive them.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Costume

Wedding attire

In the case of Japanese clothing, the formal attire for the groom is a five-crested crested kimono, haori, and hakama, while the bride wears an uchikake or furisode, or, for casual attire, a plain-colored formal kimono with one crest. In the case of Western clothing, the formal attire for day and night is different. If the wedding reception is held during the day (the ceremony is in the morning), the groom wears a morning coat (the normal daytime formal attire for men. The jacket is plain black and the trousers are vertical striped) or a director's suit (a formal suit that originated in Japan). The bride wears a white wedding dress.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Color correction

In Japan, the custom of wearing white as a bridal outfit dates back to the Muromachi period, when changing from white to colored clothing on the third day after the wedding ceremony was called "ironaoshi." As the idea of yin and yang developed, weddings came to have "yin ceremonies" and "yang ceremonies," with the bride changing into white clothing for the "yin ceremony" and colored clothing for the "yang ceremony." This is what we call "ironaoshi" today.

In the Edo period, white represented innocence, and since it was also the funeral attire, it expressed the strong will to marry without returning to one's family alive. The uchikake was originally the formal attire of women of high-ranking samurai families, and was also called kaidori. The formal attire was all white, from the uchikake and kakeshita (kimono) to the obi, but some uchikake were embroidered with gold or silver. Furisode was the ceremonial attire of townspeople. The ceremony was held in white, and then a colored furisode was changed into a new one, and finally a black furisode was worn, signifying that the bride would not be stained by the color and would remain in her husband's family for the rest of her life.

Recently, it is common to wear a formal uchikake or wedding dress for the ceremony, and then change into a furisode, evening dress, or cocktail dress for the reception. Finally, some brides wear black tomesode to show their intention to marry into their husband's family.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Attire for attendees

The attendees should vary depending on the outfit of the groom and bride, and should refrain from staring at the main character. For male matchmakers, if the groom wears Japanese clothing, a montsuki, haori, hakama, if the groom wears Western clothing, a morning or director suit, or in the daytime, a tuxedo, tailcoat, or cocktail suit at night. When women attend Japanese clothing, mistakes and Mrs. will differ slightly. Unmarried people will be furisode or middle furisode, and married women will be tomesode. Also, as accessories will vary depending on the outfit, you should be careful. One thing you should be especially careful about attendees' clothing is that the white dress is the color of the bride's outfit, so it is polite not to wear it, and in Japanese clothing, you should not forget the fan.

[Asako Ishikawa]

Wedding customs

Weddings are a rite of passage or part of a ceremony, and are also called a celebration. Recently, weddings in Japan have become the center of marriage: (1) engagement ceremony, where a marriage promise is made, (2) engagement ceremony, where the other party will receive the money and goods of the wedding, (3) "wedding" referring to the establishment of a marriage, and (4) showing off the marriage widely known to relatives and friends and seeking social recognition. Although these are recognized nationwide, there are significant differences in detail depending on the region. This is because marriage methods have largely expanded from marriage to marriage to marriage within a married couple, and from village marriage to village marriage, and while shifting their emphasis from wife rituals to husband rituals, they have still passed on unique customs to various places until recently.

Marriage to a married couple is also known as a wife's marriage or a wife's visit, and it was a classic style that the wife was given a marriage, and the wedding was also given by the wife. It was also customary for the ritual to be extremely simple, and if the marriage was based on love between acquaintances in the same village, and in marriage based on love, there was no need for a wedding ceremony or a wedding ceremony. In general, the new husband and friends of a sleeping lodging visit the wife, and the first marriage ceremony was only for the first marriage ceremony, where the parents and relatives had a drink. Not only was the engagement, but the marriage ceremony was completed, and the evening began to be a "wife question." There were many cases of this questioning for a long period of time, but when the wife moved to the husband, a grand wedding ceremony was held with the husband.

Even though the wife was visiting a wife, the husbands sometimes gave the original engagement and marriage ceremony. This method has developed in the Izu Islands, and the new wife went to her son-in-law with her mother and relatives, and was a custom of carrying out a simple ceremony there, and this was called "foot-in." Once this was done, the new wife would return to her parents' house, and the wife's questioning officially began that evening was the same as other wife's visits. This method is thought to be a transitional change from a married couple to a married couple, and is called a foot-in-law marriage.

When a married marriage was married, marriages from outside the village or far away were not uncommon, and the character of matchmaking was recognized as a matchmaking rather than a romantic relationship. As a result, the role of matchmakers who unite both men and women was heavy, and engagement ceremonies became more important. In engagement, alcohol is often delivered from men to women, and this was called a barrel container, and it was also called a hand-tightened sake or a solid sake. The container is a square barrel, and is still preserved as a cultural property all over the country. As marriage marriage became popular, there was also the idea that the man gave the woman the money and goods of the engagement were given to the woman, and this was to conclude an engagement. Engagement was originally a ritual for sharing a shared alcoholic beverage, and it is said that marriages between the two families enter into a relationship of Yui, or a joint labor, but this original meaning was forgotten, and it is believed that in recent years the engagement was primarily concluded.

になったんです。 English: The first thing you can do is to find the best one to do. In other words, a celebration of the marriage was also held as a reception, and many people consider this to be a celebration.

In marriage marriage, it was necessary to hold a grand ceremony in order to seek the social recognition of the new wife. Rituals in which the new wife was asked to attend the deity immediately after the wedding and greeted her neighbors (greeting) were also born in the same sense. As the generalization of marriage marriages became more common, the Ogasawara style of etiquette once held among the samurai was adopted among the common people, and weddings were made in a form and flowed in a flashy atmosphere.

[Takeda Dan]

"Integration of Marriage and New Family" by Sakai Miyoshi et al. (Shogakukan, 1977)" ▽ "Teachings about Weddings and Funerals" by Sawada Takashi (1985)" ▽ "Complete Books of Marriage Ceremonies for Marriage" by Ogasawara Kiyonobu (1982) " ▽ "Story of Marriage" by Yanagita Kunio (15 Complete Collections of Yanagita Kunio Collection, 1963, Chikuma Shobo)" ▽ "Folkrologies of Marriage" by Sawada Takashi (2 Collections of Oma Tomotsuzo's Works, 1967, Iwasaki Bijutsusha)"

[Reference Item] | Coloring | Wedding Costume

Source: Shogakukan Encyclopedia Nipponica About Encyclopedia Nipponica Information | Legend

Japanese:

結婚を成立させるための儀式。法的には夫婦関係を生じさせ、法律行為を開始させるためのセレモニー。古来、結婚式は宗教的儀式とされてきたが、現代では世界のほとんどの国で、結婚は単に民事契約としているものの、宗教的色彩は色濃く継承されている。

［石川朝子］

歴史

わが国においては、奈良時代より古い時代の記録にも、「妻問の物(つまどいのもの)」と称して、男性側から意中の女性に品物などを贈ったり、結婚のときは「百取の机代の物(ももとりのつくえしろのもの)」といって、女性側が多くの飲食物で新婿を歓待するといったことが行われた、とある。ただし、結婚式らしい儀式の芽生えは平安時代からで、「三日夜の餅(みかよのもち)」とよばれるものからだろう。そのころの結婚は、当人同士の恋愛から始まるのが一般的で、ほとんどの場合、男が女の家へ毎晩通っていくとか、泊まり込んでしまうなどして、夫婦関係を発生させた。結婚を認めるのは、まず女性側の親であり、結婚式も女性側の家であげた。これがだんだん形式化され、初めて夜をともにすることを「新枕(にいまくら)」と称し、3日間ひそかに通い続けて、妻方が婿を認める式をするようになった。婿はこのとき初めて公然と姿を女性の両親などに見せることから、この式を「露顕(ろけん)」「ところあらわし」とよんだ。この儀礼のハイライトが新夫婦で餅を食べることであり、これを「三日の餅」または「三日夜の餅」と称したのである。つまり、平安時代の結婚式は婿取り婚であった。

　1993年（平成5）6月9日、皇太子徳仁(なるひと)殿下と雅子(まさこ)妃の結婚式にも、「三箇夜餅(みかよのもち)の儀」があったのは興味深い。これは、銀盤4枚に、それぞれのとしの数だけの小餅をのせ、供えられたと伝えられているが、一種の飾り物に近いものになったと考えてよいのだろう。

　今日にみられる、嫁入りによって婚姻が成立し、生活も婿方でされる場合が多い嫁入り式婚姻の発生は、鎌倉時代にさかのぼる。これは、武家の誕生によって生み出されたもので、父権家族制度の成熟に伴って定着していったものである。封建社会組織が確立してくると、小笠原(おがさわら)流や伊勢(いせ)流など、儀礼の流派まで誕生した。武家社会の嫁入り式結婚は、やがて他の階級社会にも浸透していき、現代に至っているのである。しかし、父権家族制の衰えとともに、この嫁入り式婚姻も現在では大きく変わってしまった。結婚によって、婿方・嫁方のいずれでもない、新しく独立をして生活をするという傾向である。このほうがいまや常識といっていいだろう。すでに嫁入り式婚姻の壊滅期になっているのである。

　日本の結婚式は欧米諸国と異なり、あまり信仰にかかわりをもたないのが特色である。当人たちの宗教や思想と関係なく、神式、仏式、キリスト教式など、単なる形式にすぎない形をとるのは、昔から多くの地域で神がつかさどる宗教的儀式とされてきた概念の遺産であろうか。昨今では結婚式よりも、その後の披露宴に重点が置かれている。はでになる傾向は強く、とくに都会の結婚式場では奇をてらうほど奇抜なアイデアを案出し、「商品」としているところもある。

　むろん、婿方の家で挙式および披露宴を行う所も数多くあるが、式場や宴会場のあるホテル、会館、神社、寺院、専門の結婚式場を利用するケースのほうが圧倒的に多い。この場合は両家が式場に集まって挙式をするので、「出合い結婚式」ということばも生まれている。

［石川朝子］

日取りの選定

欧米では星占いで結婚式の日を決める習慣があり、中国、インド、イスラム教国においては、独特の吉凶の占いで吉凶の日を定める。日本でも昔から縁起を重んじ、暦の吉凶も重要視する。式日は黄道吉日(こうどうきちにち)（陰陽道(おんみょうどう)で何をしても吉であるとされる日）が選ばれ、六輝の大安を吉とし、仏滅を忌み、丙午(ひのえうま)の女性を嫌うなど、民俗信仰はいまも根強く残っている。しかし徐々に、こうした迷信にとらわれず式日を決める傾向が育ち始めている。挙式日の決定は、花嫁の生理日を避け、花婿の勤務先や仲人(なこうど)・親族の都合など、現実的なことを考慮に入れて行うのがよい。

　現在日本で行われている結婚式の種類は、神前式、仏前式、キリスト教式、人前式（新様式）などである。

［石川朝子］

結婚式

神前結婚式

祭壇の神前にお神酒(みき)や海の幸・山の幸を供え、その前で夫婦固めの杯(さかずき)を交わす式である。この様式は古来からあったが、1900年（明治33）、時の皇太子（大正天皇）の御成婚の儀以来、一般的に普及したとされている。このときは、伊勢(いせ)神宮の分霊を東京・日比谷(ひびや)大神宮（現在の東京大神宮）に祀(まつ)って行われたのだが、この伊勢神宮をはじめ、明治神宮、出雲(いずも)大社など、由緒ある神社への崇拝意識が強く、分霊という方法がとられたのである。これだと、分霊さえ迎えて祭壇をつくれば、どこの結婚式場でも神前結婚式は可能で、現在の結婚式の70％を超えるとされる神前式の人気も不思議ではない。

　式次第は各神社によって、あるいは初穂料（挙式料金）によって若干異なるが、多くの式場で次のような形式をとっている。当日、新郎・新婦、仲人夫妻および参列者は、式場指定の時刻に参集する。両家別々の控室に入り、係員から式次第などの説明を受ける。やがて係員の先導で式場に入るのだが、新郎側は祭壇に向かって右側、新婦側は左側に着席する。着席順は両親兄弟、祖父母、伯叔父母と、血の濃さの順。新郎・新婦は祭壇の前に、仲人はその後ろに着席する。斎主（神主）以下神職が入場し、進行係が婚儀の開始を告げる。一同起立して、斎主の修祓(しゅうふつ)（おはらい）を受け、斎主が神前に一礼したら、参列者もこれに倣って一礼し、着席する。雅楽が奏され、献饌(けんせん)の儀（神前に物を供える儀式）が行われる。続いて2人の結婚を神に報告する祝詞(のりと)が奏上されるから、一同立ってこれを聞く。次に新郎・新婦と仲人夫妻は、誓杯の儀（三三九度の杯、三献(さんけん)の儀ともいう）を行う。斎主が神前からお神酒をおろし、銚子(ちょうし)に移す。三方に三つ重ねの杯をのせ、巫女(みこ)（通常2名）がまず新郎に勧める。新郎は一の杯（いちばん小さい杯）を両掌で受け取り、巫女の注ぐお神酒を頂いて三口で飲み干す。その杯を巫女は新婦に勧め、新婦も三口で飲む（杯に口をつけ、飲むまねだけでもよい）。第二の杯は新婦から新郎へ、第三の杯は新郎から新婦へ、と繰り返して終了する。

　このあと、楽人による奏楽があり、舞女(まいひめ)2～4人によって豊栄(とよさか)の舞が奉納される（省略されることも多い）。新郎・新婦は神前に進み、一拝して誓詞を奏上する。新郎が声を出して誓詞を読み、新婦は自分の名前のみを奏上する。これが終わると、誓詞を巻き納めて案(あん)（供物を置く祭壇の前の小机）上に供えて一拝し、次に玉串(たまぐし)の奉奠(ほうてん)がある。玉串は榊(さかき)の枝に木綿の布か紙垂(しで)をつけたもの。根元を神前に向けて案上に供え、二拝二拍手一拝してから所定の席につく。最近ではこのあと指輪の交換を行うことが多い。この玉串奉奠は仲人夫妻、両家の代表もそれぞれ行うが、終わって着席すると、両家全員の席にあらかじめ用意されていた杯にお神酒が酌まれ、乾杯して飲み干し、両家親族の固めの杯とする。斎主が一拝し、一同も一拝すると、斎主はめでたく式が終了したことを告げ、新夫婦が誕生したことになる。

［石川朝子］

仏前結婚式

仏教には、夫となり妻となるのも前世からの因縁であり、仏の導きによるもの、という哲学がある。だから信仰心の厚い仏教徒は、菩提(ぼだい)寺などゆかりのある寺院で結婚式を行う。逆に自宅に僧侶(そうりょ)を招いて式を行うこともある。もっとも、最近では、大きな寺院には結婚式場の設備をもつ例もあり、信仰心の有無にかかわらず希望者は寺院での挙式もできる。宗派によって多少異なるが、式次第は次のような形式がほとんどである。式場は当然ながらご本尊の祀られてある本堂。仏壇の前に香華(こうげ)、燭台(しょくだい)、香炉などが置かれ、その後ろに導師（主僧）の席がある。導師の後ろに新郎・新婦、そのわきに仲人夫妻、両側に両家の親族などの席が並んでいる。

　両家の家族や親族、来賓などが入堂して着席すると奏楽が始まり（宗派によってない場合もある）、仲人に導かれて新郎・新婦が入堂する。新郎が仏壇に向かって右、新婦が左に席を置くのが一般的である。導師が従僧を従えて入場、司会者が開式を告げる。まず導師が香を仏前に献じ、両人の結婚の成立を報告してから読経をする。次に導師が2人の頭上に清めの水（浄水）を振りかけ、新郎・新婦はこれを合掌して受けなければいけない。このあと、従僧が仏前から数珠(じゅず)をとり、導師に渡す。導師がこれに香を薫じて、新郎・新婦の合掌した手にかけ与え、2人はめでたく仏前で結ばれたことになる。このとき、希望があれば指輪の交換をすることもできる。

　続いて一同起立して合掌し、導師に従って「三帰礼文(さんきらいもん)」（仏・法・僧の三宝に帰依(きえ)する経文）を唱える。導師が一句ずつ唱え、一同が続いて唱和する。このあと新夫婦と両家の固めの杯を行う。次に新郎・新婦はそろって左手に数珠を持ち、右手で香をつまんで焼香し、礼拝してから誓詞を捧読(ほうどく)し、結婚署名簿に新しい名前を書いて拇印(ぼいん)を押す。このあと導師による法話が行われ、それが終わって導師が退場してすべての式は終了したことになるが、その後、参列者が順に焼香することになっている。

［石川朝子］

キリスト教式結婚式

本来教会での結婚式はキリスト教信者に限る、というのが原則である。キリスト教徒にとって、結婚とは神に対する誓約であり、神の祝福を受けて結ばれるものであるから、神を信じない者、信者でない者はその資格がないわけである。ただ、現在では、新郎・新婦のうちどちらかが信者であれば挙式することができる教会もある。ただし、ホテルや結婚式場にチャペル（礼拝堂）がある場合は信者でなくても挙式できるが、その場合でも司祭または牧師による結婚の意義についてのオリエンテーションを受ける必要がある。

　信者同士の結婚式は新郎・新婦の所属する教会の礼拝堂で行うが、2人の教会が異なるときは2人で相談して決めてよいとされているものの、多くは新郎側の教会であげるケースが多い。式をあげる前に、宗派によっては婚約式というものを行うこともある。結婚式の日が決定すると、教会は2週間前に公表する。2人の結婚に異議をもつ信者がいれば、式の当日までに教会に申し出ることができ、申し出人が2人以上いれば、教会は挙式するか否かを協議して決めなければならない。

　挙式後は神の意志によって結ばれた者同士である。異議は差し挟めないし、離婚も認められないことになっている。キリスト教式の場合、神式でいう仲人のように、2人の証人が必要である。証人はかならずしも夫婦である必要はない。日本の場合は長い習慣によって仲人夫妻が証人をつとめるケースが多いが、新郎・新婦がキリスト教徒なら、証人も信者であることが好ましい。キリスト教式は他の式と異なり、だれでも式に参列することができる。なるべく多くの人々と喜びを分かち合い、できるだけたくさんの人々に祝福してもらうためである。通りがかりの人でも自由に参列が許されるのもこのためである。

　カトリックとプロテスタントでは多少の違いがあるものの、現在日本で行われているキリスト教式の式次第は次のようなものである。式場の祭壇に花を飾り、中央通路には白い布を敷く。バージン・ロードといい、新郎・新婦、証人と介添人以外は式前にこれを踏むことは許されない。式場内の席は、祭壇に向かって右が新郎側、左を新婦側とする。前列から家族、親族、主賓と並び、あとは到着順でよい。まず新郎が司祭（牧師）の出入口から証人と入場し、祭壇に向かって右側に立ち新婦の入場を待つ。この間オルガンが奏され続けるが、ワーグナー作曲のオペラ『ローエングリン』の「婚礼の合唱」にかわると、新婦が父親に付き添われてバージン・ロードの上を祭壇へと進む。この父親との入場は仲人夫人が代行してもよいし、新郎はベストマン（介添人。新郎の友人がつとめる）、新婦はブライズメイド（介添人。新婦の未婚の友人がつとめる）に先導される場合もある。

　そのブライズメイドの前を、リング・ボーイ（指輪を持って入る少年）、フラワー・ガール（小花の入った籠(かご)を持って入る少女）もいっしょに入場することもある。花嫁の衣裳が長く、裾(すそ)を引くトレーンやベールを着用しているときは、裾持ちの子供が1名ないし2名つく。祭壇前に誘導された新婦は、新郎の左側に並び、その後ろにベストマンとブライズメイド、そして証人が立つ。このとき、新婦の父は自席に帰り、一同起立して賛美歌を歌う。司祭は次に聖書のなかの結婚に関する章句を読んで神に祈り、式辞を述べる。

　誓約と指輪の交換は結婚式のハイライト。司祭が新郎・新婦を祭壇の前に呼び寄せ、列席の一同に結婚の立会人になることを求めて起立してもらう。新郎に向かってその名を呼びかけ、「何某を妻とし終生節操を守ることを誓いますか」という台詞(せりふ)で、新婦にも同様に誓約させる。そして結婚指輪の交換。新婦は手袋を外して介添人に預ける。司祭は新郎・新婦の手を握らせ、その上に自らの手を置いて神に祈り、参列者に向かって、2人が神の意志によって結ばれたことを宣言する。ここで再度列席者によって賛美歌が歌われ、新婦はその間に手袋をはめ、ブーケを持つ。

　教会によっては、ここで新郎、新婦、証人、司祭の順で誓約書に署名する。司祭は一同を起立させ、新郎・新婦そして参列者全員に祝福を与える。メンデルスゾーンの『真夏の夜の夢』の「結婚行進曲」が演奏され、一同起立して見送るなかを、新郎・新婦は腕を組み（新郎右、新婦左）、音楽にあわせて退場、そのあとに証人、介添人、両親、親族と続く。フラワー・ガールが新郎・新婦の前を、花をまきながら行くこともある。このあと、教会堂の前に整列して記念写真を撮ることが多い。

［石川朝子］

人前結婚式

参列者に証人になってもらう結婚式をいい、宗教に関係なく行う。結婚式そのものの式場として会場を使用する場合と、披露宴会場をそのまま使い、その場で挙式まで行うケースがある。式次第はほぼ以下のとおりである。参列者が会場へ入ると、司会者の挨拶(あいさつ)で始められる。新郎が入場し、続いて新婦も入場（このときキャンドルを持つこともある）。司会者が、参列した人々を証人として結婚式を行うことを宣言し、この時点で場内は厳粛な雰囲気になる。

　新郎・新婦が席につき、誓いのことばを述べ、新郎が新婦に、新婦が新郎にそれぞれ指輪をその薬指に交換しあう。続いて2人が婚姻届に署名捺印(なついん)し、証人（仲人）もそれに倣って捺印し、参列者一同に見せる。司会者はここでめでたく結婚の儀式が終了したことを告げ、このあと乾杯をし、祝宴となる。

［石川朝子］

その他の結婚式

〔1〕自宅結婚式　昔からわが国で行われている、もっとも伝統的な式。結婚式場や披露宴会場が現代のようにないころは、ほとんど自宅で挙式されていた。広い部屋や人手もないことから、都会ではあまり行われないが、地方ではまだこの形式が残っている。また、年々結婚式を華美にしようとする傾向があり、さらに衰退への拍車をかけるに違いない。

〔2〕2人だけの結婚式　新婚旅行を兼ねて行う場合がほとんどである。ハワイやグアムの教会、国内では軽井沢や北海道の教会などであげる結婚式である。自由を好む若者たちに人気があるが、この場合でも立会人出席の義務、両親の承諾書などは必要である。

〔3〕音楽結婚式　方式は人前式と同様だが、式の間ずっとオーケストラや四重奏、ハープトリオなどが演奏を続けるなかで行うもの。

　また、変わった結婚式に、バスや船、飛行機など乗り物の中でする式や、野外結婚式、プールサイド結婚式など、思い付くままに会場を選ぶ例もあるが、いずれにしても結婚式はショーではない。基本的な厳粛さだけは忘れないよう、気をつけることがたいせつである。

［石川朝子］

しきたりとマナー

親族紹介

結婚式が終わり、披露宴までの時間を利用して、親族の紹介を行うことが多い。昔は両家をよく知る仲人が両家の親族紹介をしたものだが、最近は「やとわれ仲人」が多いため、両家の代表者（父親が圧倒的）がそれぞれの親族を紹介する。このあと、親族との集合写真や新郎・新婦の写真撮影をすることが多い。

［石川朝子］

披露宴

結婚式に参列した親族などのほか、来賓が出席する。控室の入口に受付を置いて芳名帳を用意し、来賓のすべてに署名してもらい、席札を渡して控室へ案内する。控室では食前酒を出してもてなす。開宴時刻が迫ったら、披露宴会場の入口で新郎・新婦を中央に、両わきを仲人夫妻、その外側に両家の両親が並び、会場に入る来賓の挨拶を受けながら入場してもらう。来賓が席次表に従って着席したところで、新郎・新婦が仲人に付き添われて入場。このとき、ウェディング・マーチが流れるのが一般的だが、長持唄(ながもちうた)や木遣(きやり)唄なども使われる。音楽は別になんでもよい。

　披露宴には着席式と立食式があり、料理も日本料理、西洋料理、中華料理などがある。

　西洋風披露宴の進行次第は、だいたい次のとおりである。新郎・新婦が着席すると、司会者が開会の挨拶をし、続いて仲人が先刻式を無事終了したことを報告、2人と両家を紹介する。次に主賓が祝辞を述べ、新郎・新婦によってウェディング・ケーキにナイフが入れられる。ケーキにナイフが入った瞬間を合図に、シャンパンの栓がポンポンと景気のよい音をたててあけられる。シャンパンによる乾杯の音頭は、おもだった来賓がとる。この乾杯は、通常の西洋会食の場合デザート・コースの前に行われるのだが、披露宴の場合は来賓の祝辞を受ける都合上、料理の出る前に行う。一同起立してグラスをあげ、新郎・新婦に心からの祝いの気持ちを込めて乾杯する。すぐに料理が運ばれ、祝宴に移るが、しばらくの間は参会者同士の歓談となる。この間に新婦は中座して「色直し」に出る。最近では新郎も色直しをすることが多いが、主役が不在の間、祝辞は控える。

　新婦が仲人夫人に手を引かれて会場に姿を見せたら、来賓は拍手で迎え、席に着いたらふたたび来賓各位に祝辞を述べてもらう。祝電の披露はデザート・コースに入ってから行う。披露宴の最後は、列席の一同に対するお礼のことば。これは新郎・新婦および両家を代表して新郎の父親が行う。このとき仲人の労を感謝することばも忘れてはならない。司会者がお開きの挨拶をしている間に、新郎・新婦、仲人、両親は席を立って会場の出口に並び、退場する来賓たちを感謝を込めて見送る。

　中華風のときも、ほとんど同じである。

　和風の場合は日本間で行われるのが本来の形であるが、最近はホテルや一般の式場でも日本料理で行われることは多い。そのときは単に椅子(いす)席に変わるだけで、進行は洋風・中華風とあまり変わるところはない。日本間で行う場合、床の間のある位置を正座とする。正式には本膳(ほんぜん)料理であるべきだが、近ごろでは会席料理も多い。日本間での仲人の挨拶や主賓の祝辞のあるときは、新郎・新婦は座ぶとんを外して聞くのが礼儀とされている。乾杯は座ったまま行う。

　ビュッフェ・スタイル（立食形式）は、一般的にくだけた形とされている。この種のパーティーは新郎・新婦も来賓たちと親しく歓談でき、両家の親族もよりいっそう親睦(しんぼく)を深めることも可能。席次に頭を悩ますこともない。人数に融通がきくし、列席者が多少時間に遅れたり、早く失礼しても目だたないなど、数多くの利点がある。演出しだいではすばらしい披露宴になることがあるせいか、最近多くなってきている。

　宴の進行としては、来賓入場に続き、新郎・新婦が仲人夫妻と入ってきてメイン・テーブルにつく。司会者が開宴を告げ、仲人の挨拶に続いて来賓の祝辞、ウェディング・ケーキ入刀があって乾杯と続く。主役たちがメイン・テーブルについているのはこの間だけ。ただ、ここまでは来賓のすべては立ったままなので、祝辞などはごく短いものにしたい。乾杯のあと、新郎・新婦、仲人は来賓の間を自由に回り、歓談する。最後は着席式のときと同様、両親のお礼の挨拶で締める。

［石川朝子］

祝辞

祝辞はまえもって依頼されるケースがほとんどなので、内容や話し方などよく整理して、忌みことば（「切る」「離れる」「別れる」「終わる」「戻る」など）は避けて述べるようにしたい。露悪的内容も慎むべきことである。

［石川朝子］

結婚祝

結婚祝は現金または品物を贈る。品物の懸紙(かけがみ)、祝儀袋（のし袋）の文字は、いずれも「寿」とし、水引は金銀または紅白で結び切りとする。品物を贈る場合、当人によくたずね、他の人と重ならないように気をつけたい。本来、現金も品物も式の当日、式場に持参するのは礼を失することであり、少なくとも1週間前くらいまでに自宅に届けるのが正式。

［石川朝子］

祝儀

式当日手伝いにきてくれた人や式場の諸係の人に渡す祝儀は、両家でよく相談して金額を決める。のし袋には「寿」と書き、両家連名にする。水引は紅白の結び切りのものを使う。あまり大きな袋は避け、小さめのものを少し多めに用意しておいたほうがよい。

［石川朝子］

引出物

主催者がお土産(みやげ)に出す品物のことで、元来祝い膳につけて出したもの。結婚式の場合は、来賓からのお祝い品に対する「お返し」の意味でするものなので、披露宴に招待すればその必要はないのだが、最近は祝いを分かち合うという目的から、かならずつけているようである。品物はかつお節、祝菓子、工芸品、食器類などが多い。この引出物ののしも「寿」と書く。

［石川朝子］

旅行ほか

新婚旅行

新郎・新婦が互いに本当の意味で結ばれ、よく理解しあうための旅行である。それまでの交際ではわからなかった部分を知り、発見することがこの旅行の意義といえる。旅行の日程は、無理のないように心がけることがたいせつ。第1日目は結婚式をあげた式場近くのホテルなどに泊まって身体を休め、次の日から出発するほうがよい。宿の決め方は、プライバシーが守られるところ、団体客の少ないところ、周囲の環境のよいところ、などを目安にして選ぶ。海外旅行の場合は、信用できる旅行会社のパッケージ・ツアー（セット旅行）を利用するのも、一つの楽な方法である。持ち物は、できるだけコンパクトにまとめたほうがよい。着慣れた服装、履き慣れたものを用いたい。仲人や特別に世話になった人へのお土産も忘れないようにする。

　欧米では、新婚旅行に出かける車にJust Married（新婚ほやほや）などと落書きしたり、花を飾ったり、空き缶などをぶら下げたり、米や花をまいたりして、にぎやかに友人一同が見送る風習がある。

［石川朝子］

里帰り

結婚して3日か5日目（奇数日）に嫁が夫とともに嫁の実家を訪問することを、里帰りといった。この忌みことばに「里開き」がある。この日、婿方でつくってもらった新調の衣装（「お待ち受け」と称した）を着て実家を訪問したが、現在では新婚旅行から帰ってからお土産を持って訪ねるといったケースがほとんどである。夫婦いずれの実家にも同居しない場合は、夫の実家に1泊、妻のほうにも1泊するようにする。世話になった人々への挨拶回りも、このときしておく。

［石川朝子］

結婚通知

新婚旅行から帰ったら、すぐに結婚通知状を郵送する。披露宴に出席してくれた人にも送るべきである。新婚旅行のスナップ写真などを葉書にして出すのも、受けた人の心を和ませる。

［石川朝子］

衣装

結婚衣装

和装の場合、新郎は五つ紋の紋付、羽織、袴(はかま)、新婦は打掛または振袖(ふりそで)が正装で、略装なら訪問着の色無地一つ紋などである。洋装だと、昼夜で正装は別のものになる。昼間の披露宴（式が午前中）の場合、新郎はモーニング（男性用昼間の通常礼装。上着は黒の無地で、ズボンは縦縞(たてじま)）またはディレクター・スーツ（日本で生まれたフォーマル・スーツ）。新婦は白のウェディング・ドレスである。

［石川朝子］

色直し

わが国において花嫁衣装を白とする風習は室町時代からあり、白装束から挙式後3日目に色のある衣装に着替えることを「色直し」といった。陰陽(おんみょう)思想が発達し、結婚式にも「陰の式」と「陽の式」を行うようになり、「陰の式」のときには白い衣装、「陽の式」で色のある衣装に着替えた。それが今日の「色直し」である。

　江戸時代には白は無垢(むく)を表し、それが死装束でもあったことから、生きてふたたび生家に戻らない覚悟で嫁ぐ、という強い意志を表した。打掛は、元来、上級武家の女性の礼服であり、掻取(かいどり)ともいった。なお、打掛、掛下(かけした)（着物）から帯まで、すべて白を用いるのが正式の装束であるが、打掛に金・銀の刺しゅうを施したものもある。振袖は町民の式服。白で式をあげ、色直しに色のある振袖を着、最後は、色に染まらず婚家に一生とどまるという意味から黒の振袖を着た。

　最近は、打掛またはウェディング・ドレスで式をあげ、披露宴で振袖かイブニング・ドレス、カクテル・ドレスに色直しをする型がよくみられる。また最後に、婚家に嫁いだ既婚者としての意志表示のため、黒の留袖を着ることもある。

［石川朝子］

出席者の衣装

参列者は新郎・新婦の装いによって変わってくるべきで、主役より目だつのは差し控えたい。男性仲人の場合、新郎が和装なら紋付、羽織、袴、洋装なら昼間だとモーニングかディレクター・スーツ、夜はタキシードか燕尾服、カクテル・スーツを用いる。女性が和装で出席するときは、ミスとミセスで多少違ってくる。未婚者は振袖か中振袖、既婚女性なら留袖である。また、服装によってアクセサリーも変わってくるので注意が必要である。とくに出席者の服装で注意しなければならないのは、白いドレスは花嫁衣装の色だから、着ないのが礼儀であり、和装の場合は扇子を忘れてはならないことである。

［石川朝子］

婚礼の習俗

婚礼は通過儀礼、冠婚葬祭の一環をなすもので、祝言(しゅうげん)ともよばれる。近来わが国で婚礼の中心をなすのは、(1)婚姻の約束を交わす婚約の式、(2)婚資の金品を相手側に贈る結納(ゆいのう)の儀、(3)婚姻の成立をさす「結婚式」、(4)婚姻を親族や友人たちに広く知らせ、社会的承認を求める披露、の各儀礼である。これらは全国的に認められるとはいえ、細部にわたっては地域による差異が著しい。それは、婚姻方式が、大きくは婿入り婚から嫁入り婚へ、村内婚から村外婚へと展開をみせ、妻方儀礼から夫方儀礼へと重点を移しつつも、なお各地に近年まで独特な習俗を伝承してきたためである。

　婿入り婚は妻所(さいしょ)婚、妻訪(さいほう)婚ともいわれるように、妻方で婚姻生活を過ごすもので、婚礼も妻方であげられるのが古風であった。またその儀礼もきわめて簡素に済まされるのが通例で、同じ村内の知り合い同士、しかも恋愛に基づく結婚ならば、結納や披露の必要もなかったのである。一般に寝宿(ねやど)の主人や友人に伴われて新婿が妻側を訪れ、両親や親族と酒を酌み交わす初婿入りの式だけで、婚約ばかりか婚姻成立の儀も終わり、その晩から晴れて「妻問い」を始める風であった。この妻問いは長期にわたる例も少なくなかったが、やがて妻が夫方に引き移る際、夫方で盛大な嫁入りの式が開かれるのであった。

　妻訪婚でありながら、当初の婚約、婚姻成立の儀礼を夫方であげる場合があった。伊豆諸島ではこのような方式が発達しており、新嫁が実母や親族の女たちとともに婿方に行き、そこで簡単な儀礼を営む習わしで、それを「足入れ」とよんだ。これが済めば新嫁は実家に帰ってしまい、その晩から正式に妻問いが始まる点は他の妻訪婚と同じであった。このような方式は、婿入り婚から嫁入り婚に変わる過渡的なものと考えられ、足入れ婚と名づけられている。

　嫁入り婚になると、村外婚、遠方婚も珍しくなく、恋愛よりも見合いに特徴が認められた。そのため男女両家を結び付ける仲人(なこうど)の役割が重く、また婚約や結納の式が重視されるようになった。婚約には男側から女側に酒を届けることが多く、これを樽(たる)入れといい、また手締めの酒、固めの酒などともよんだ。その容器が角樽(つのだる)で、いまも全国各地に文化財として保存されている。嫁入り婚が普及するにつれ、さらに男側から女側に結納の金品を贈り、これでもって婚約の完了、確認とする観念も現れた。結納も元来は酒食を共同にする儀礼であり、婚姻によって両家がユイ、すなわち共同労働の関係に入るのだと説かれているが、このような原義は忘れられて、近来はもっぱら婚約の締結と考えられている。

　嫁入り婚は夫所(ふしょ)婚ともいわれるように、夫方で婚姻生活を送るものであり、婚礼も夫方が重点を占めている。ところが嫁入り当日、朝婿入りといい、まず嫁方に婿を迎え、そこで祝宴を催す例が各地にみられる。これは、婿入り婚で初婿入りを重視した名残(なごり)とされている。嫁入り婚では、嫁が自家を出る際、婿方に入る際や、嫁入りの道中などにさまざまな儀礼がみられる。たとえば、出発にあたって長年使った茶碗(ちゃわん)を割るとか、入家にあたって火をまたぐとか、とかく呪術(じゅじゅつ)的な儀礼が少なくない。嫁入り行列では道中歌を歌い、「嫁御(よめご)ぞ」と嫁ばやしをするなど、華やかさを競う風であった。婿方では三三九度の夫婦杯(めおとさかずき)をはじめ、親子杯、親類杯など杯の儀を中心に酒宴となるのが一般であった。つまり婚姻成立祝いが披露宴を兼ねて行われたのであり、これこそ祝言と考えている者も多い。

　嫁入り婚では、新嫁の社会的承認を求める意味で、儀礼を盛大に営む必要があった。婚礼直後に新嫁を氏神に参らせ、隣近所に挨拶(あいさつ)回りさせるような儀礼も、同じ意味で生まれたものである。こうして嫁入り婚の一般化に伴い、庶民の間にも、かつて武家の間で行われた小笠原(おがさわら)流作法が取り入れられ、婚礼は形式を整え、一面華美に流れていった。

［竹田　旦］

『酒井美意子他著『結婚と新家庭の百科』（1977・小学館）』▽『沢田隆司著『冠婚葬祭の心得』（1985・池田書店）』▽『小笠原清信著『結婚の礼式全書』（1982・池田書店）』▽『柳田国男著「婚姻の話」（『定本柳田国男集15』所収・1963・筑摩書房）』▽『『婚姻の民俗学』（『大間知篤三著作集2』所収・1967・岩崎美術社）』

[参照項目] | 色直し | 婚礼衣装

出典　小学館　日本大百科全書(ニッポニカ)日本大百科全書(ニッポニカ)について　情報 | 凡例

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