Engagement - Today

It is a promise to marry in the future, but there is no provision for this in the Civil Code, and it is regulated by case law. An engagement is often established by a ceremony such as the exchange of betrothal gifts, but it is valid even without such a ceremony. There is no problem if the marriage is established as promised or the engagement is dissolved by mutual agreement, but problems arise if one party unilaterally breaks the engagement. Since marriage should be established by the free will of the parties, it is not permitted to force a person who has changed his or her mind and no longer intends to marry by suing the court. However, a person who breaks an engagement without a valid reason is obligated to compensate the other party for any financial or mental damage suffered. In addition, since betrothal gifts are money or goods given for the purpose of a future marriage, they must be returned when the engagement is dissolved, regardless of whether it is dissolved by agreement or unilaterally. In addition, when the term "marriage reservation" is used in case law, it can refer to the engagement mentioned here, but it usually means a common-law marriage.

[Yasuyuki Takahashi and Masamitsu Nozawa]

In Japan, no legal procedures are required for engagement, so everything is done according to custom, and the actual situation is extremely diverse. In the past, marriage negotiations began between a man and a woman who were completely unknown to each other, and since this was rather the norm, an intermediary (a matchmaker) naturally came into play. Furthermore, mutual understanding and approval of the "family" (parents) took precedence over the agreement between the two people involved. Therefore, the negotiation process between the two families leading up to the engagement was divided into several stages and was quite elaborate, but the general process is as follows. (1) private negotiations between the two parties by the go-between (kind of bridge or preparatory talk), (2) private interviews between the two parties, practices such as negiki, (3) matchmaking (the usual matchmaking practice of the matchmaker staging a meeting between the two parties is a new trend that arose mainly in urban areas, whereas one-sided interviews and observations (bride-watching) by the groom's family have been practiced for a long time in ordinary rural areas, and sometimes even been completely absent), (4) verbal promise (a response to the matchmaking, or sometimes a direct agreement from the private negotiations), leading to an "informal consent" and (5) the engagement ceremony. The traditional engagement ceremony was called "tezime, saketate, kimezake, sumizake" and was concluded when the matchmaker went to the bride's family bringing sake and snacks (shukou) sent by the groom's family, held a drinking party, and brought back the remaining sake to the groom's family. And when the "wedding ceremony" that combined the "wedding ceremony" and the "wedding ceremony" became common, the process of (6) the betrothal ceremony and (7) the arrangement of the wedding date were also incorporated into the engagement ceremony, or it was combined with the engagement ceremony. Sometimes the simple form of just a verbal promise followed by an engagement ceremony still remained.

On the other hand, it was also common in the past for engagements to be concluded through direct negotiations (courtship → verbal promise) between known men and women through the intermediation of young men and women in the village, which would then lead to marriage being confirmed through a formal presentation of the groom to the bride's family (marriage by marrying a bridegroom). This was often accompanied by "marriage within the village". There was also a custom of the couple exchanging engagement gifts such as "signs". In other words, as marriage forms such as marriage by marrying a bride (marriage within the village) and marriage by marrying a bride (marriage outside the village) changed over time, the engagement procedures also became diverse and differentiated, or were simplified, and this form remains in today's dual-system engagement procedures of arranged marriages and love marriages.

[Toshimi Takeuchi]

Source: Shogakukan Encyclopedia Nipponica About Encyclopedia Nipponica Information | Legend

将来結婚をしようという約束であるが、これについては民法に規定がなく、判例法によって規制されている。婚約は結納(ゆいのう)の取り交わしなどの儀式によって成立することが多いが、そのような儀式がなくても有効に成立する。婚約どおりに婚姻が成立するか、または両方の合意で婚約が解消される場合には問題はないが、どちらかが一方的に婚約を破棄した場合に問題がおこる。婚姻はあくまで当事者の自由な意思で成立させるべきであるから、心変わりして婚姻する意思がなくなった者を、裁判所に訴えて強制的に婚姻させることは認められない。しかし、正当な理由がなく婚約を破棄した者は、相手方の被った財産的あるいは精神的な損害に対し賠償をする義務がある。また、結納は将来の婚姻を目的として渡される金銭や品物であるから、婚約が解消されたときは、合意による解消であるか、一方的な解消であるかを問わず、返還しなければならない。なお、判例法で「婚姻予約」ということばを用いるときは、ここでいう婚約をさすこともあるが、普通、内縁を意味することが多い。

［高橋康之・野澤正充］

　日本では婚約に法的手続をまったく要しないから、すべては慣行に従い、その実態はきわめて多様である。従来はまったく未知の間柄の男女間に婚姻の交渉が開始され、それがむしろ通例だったので、いきおい媒介者（仲人(なこうど)）の介在が生じた。また当人同士の合意よりむしろ「家」（親）相互の了解容認が優先もした。それゆえ婚約に至る両家間の交渉過程も幾段階かに分かれて、かなり手のこんだ形を呈したが、およその経過は次のようである。(1)仲介者による双方への内交渉（橋かけ、下話の類）、(2)双方の内々の聞き合わせ、根聞(ねぎき)などの慣行、(3)見合い（仲人による当事者対面の演出といった通例の見合い慣行は都会中心におこった新しい傾向で、婿方からの一方的面接・観察〈嫁見〉が一般農村ではむしろ古くから行われ、まったくそれを欠くことさえあった）、(4)口約束（見合いの返事、ときには内交渉から直接の合意）という順序で「内諾」が得られ、(5)婚約儀礼に進むことになる。慣行的な婚約式は「手じめ・酒たて・きめ酒・すみ酒」などといい、仲人が婿方から贈る酒肴(しゅこう)を携えて嫁方に出向いて酒宴を張り、その残り酒を婿方に持ち帰ることで完了した。そして「嫁入り」と「婚礼」が合体した「嫁入り婚」の方式が一般化すると、(6)結納、(7)婚礼の日取り決めという経過も婚約手続に繰り込まれ、あるいは婚約式とそれは合体もした。そしてときには口約束→婚約式というだけの簡素な形もなお残ったのである。

　一方、村内の若者仲間、娘仲間の交際を媒介に、既知の男女間の直接交渉（求愛→口約束）で婚約が成立し、それが婿の嫁方への正式披露（婿入り）で結婚が成立する形につながることも、古くは広くみられ、多くは「村内婚」に随伴するものでもあった。「手じるし」などという婚約の贈り物を、当人同士が取り交わす慣習もそこにはみられた。つまり、婿入り婚（村内婚）、嫁入り婚（村外婚）といった婚姻方式の変遷のまま、婚約手続も多彩に分化し、あるいは簡素に運ばれることになったわけで、今日の見合い結婚と恋愛結婚という、二元方式における婚約手続にもその形は残っている。

［竹内利美］

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