Matchmaking - Miai

When proposing marriage, strangers, men and women, meet through the mediation of a matchmaker. Originally, love marriages based on the agreement of a man and woman in the same village were the norm, so there was no need for matchmaking. Later, marriages outside the village or to a distant place were mainly a matter of family status or lineage, and the opinion and judgment of the head of the household was given importance, so there was little room for consideration of the position of the parties involved. In fact, in samurai society, it was traditional to see the face of the other person for the first time on the night of the wedding. However, among common people, there was a movement to try to get the parties involved in some way to get in touch with each other, and the man would visit the woman's house on the pretext of wanting to see cows or horses, or he would go to the woman's house with the guidance of a matchmaker and be treated to tea and sweets. In these cases, the man only had a brief glimpse of the woman's appearance. In the mid-Meiji period, as cities developed and theaters and restaurants became more common, the trend of setting up matchmaking sessions in such places began, giving the two parties an opportunity to meet directly. Thus, matchmaking came to be considered an important step in the process of marriage negotiations, and arranged marriages were very popular until the 1940s. In recent years, matchmaking has not declined in any way, but it is still merely the first step between men and women, and the intention is confirmed through subsequent dating, and a decision is made as to whether the relationship will be successful or not. In some cases, what began as matchmaking can develop into love.

[Takeda Dan]

Source: Shogakukan Encyclopedia Nipponica About Encyclopedia Nipponica Information | Legend

縁談に際して、見知らぬ男女が仲人(なこうど)らの仲介のもとに会見すること。もともと婚姻は同一村落内の男女合意に基づく恋愛結婚が主流をなしていたから、見合いの必要はなかった。その後の村外婚・遠方婚はおもに家格や家柄を問題にしておこったもので、家長の意見や判断が重視され、ひいては当事者の立場が考慮される余地は乏しかった。事実、武家社会では、婚姻の当夜初めて相手の顔を見るというのが伝統であった。しかし庶民の間では、なんらかの形で当事者の接触を図ろうとする動きが現れ、男側が牛や馬を見たいなどと口実をつくって女の家に訪れたり、仲人の案内によって女の家に行き、茶菓の接待を受けたりする風であった。これらでは、わずかに男が女の容姿をかいまみる程度であった。明治中期、都市の発達、劇場・食堂の普及につれて、このような場所に見合いの席を設ける風が始まり、両人に直接面談させる機会を与えるようになった。こうして、見合いが縁談を進めるのに重要な手続と考えられることになり、昭和20年代まで見合い結婚が盛んに行われた。近来も見合いはけっして衰えてはいないが、単に男女接触の第一歩にすぎず、その後の交際を通じて意思の確認を求め、成否の結論も出すという状況である。そこで場合によっては、見合いから始まったのに恋愛にまで高まる例もみられる。

［竹田　旦］

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