Matchmaker - Nakoudo

A person who mediates between people in marriage. Also called a matchmaker. Originally it meant a person who acts as a go-between, and is said to be a variation of the word "nakabito." It is not so long ago that matchmakers became necessary for all people to get married. In the old days of village life, when marriages were decided between the man and woman involved, the role of a matchmaker was not to bring the couple together, but to protect and support their future life in the village. However, when marriages were decided, the issue was the ties between families rather than the will of the parties involved, and as distant marriages became more common, opportunities for both men and women to choose their own partners became fewer and more difficult, and the role of a matchmaker naturally became more important and complicated. However, in recent years, the will of the parties involved has gradually come to be emphasized as in the past, and it has become common to ask for a matchmaker, taking into consideration social status, once the man and woman have agreed and everything is ready, and they are called "requested matchmakers." In the past, matchmakers were treated with the same respect as real parents, and the custom of always carrying the matchmaker's coffin at his funeral was widespread, and this relationship lasted almost a lifetime; however, these days this type of relationship tends to become weaker.

[Hisako Maruyama]

Source: Shogakukan Encyclopedia Nipponica About Encyclopedia Nipponica Information | Legend

結婚の仲立ちをする人。媒酌人(ばいしゃくにん)ともよばれる。本来は橋渡しをする人の意で、「なかびと」の変化した語といわれる。すべての人の結婚に際して、仲人が必要な存在となったのは、さほど古いことではない。婚姻が、当事者である男女の間で決定された古い村落生活のなかでは、仲人親とよばれる者の役割は、男女を結び付けることではなく、彼らの将来の村における生活を庇護(ひご)し援助することがおもなものであった。ところが、婚姻に際し、当事者たちの意思よりも、家どうしの結び付きが問題とされるようになり、遠方婚姻が多くなると、男女とも自ら相手を選ぶ機会が少なくなり、困難にもなって、いきおい仲人という役目が重要となり、複雑にもなってきたのである。しかし、最近ではしだいに昔のように当事者の意思が重視されるようになって、「頼まれ仲人」と称して、男女の了解が済み、お膳(ぜん)立てのそろったところで、社会的地位などを考慮して仲人を頼むというようなことも多くなった。昔の仲人には、仲人親といって、実の親と同様な礼を尽くし、仲人の葬儀の際はかならず棺を担ぐという習俗は広く、ほとんど一生の間の関係となっていたが、いまではこういう関係は希薄になる傾向にある。

［丸山久子］

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